I'm starting to panic and feel rather anxious at the moment. I return to work at the end of the month (only two days a week, which I know is not such a big deal) but Elroy will be going to childcare for one day a week (the other he will be with my mum), and I am freaked out. So many blogs I read seem to talk about the time when their children start school, but what about daycare? I feel like a terrible mother for leaving him, but on the other hand, I know he is a very sociable child and he will get a lot out of it. I also know that he is in very good hands, and will be just fine, but inside my heart is breaking at the thought of leaving him and everything changing. He isn't even 12 months yet. He will start next week, and have a few days there over the next few weeks before I return to work. I am trying really hard not to think about it, to instead plan out how I might actually spend a while entire day on my own (I think a swim, some house sorting and a nice lunch out somewhere are in order), but it is difficult. I guess I also feel nervous about going back to work, about having to actually use my brain in that environment again. I feel it is not going to be an easy transition.
Anyway it is Friday and the start of the long weekend, so I am going to let go of all those thoughts, and feelings, and just go with it. We are hoping to get away to the east coast for a day trip and I can't wait to have a swim in the ocean. It has been a few weeks now and the local 'Y' I swim at is just not the same. I think we might actually make it to local pizza this weekend, and I had a brainwave to build a daybed for our bedroom, to replace the hideous purple couch we have under the window - which is a lovely sun spot. I don't think we will build the daybed but it will be good to sort out a plan!