Monday, 22 July 2019


Baby Rufus joined our family nearly five weeks ago! We have very much been in the baby bubble since then, the one where you feel completely overwhelmed with love and joy and exhaustion. He arrived a little before his due date because I was induced, and in the end it was rather quick and sudden for both of us.  Perhaps because of this he can be loud, unsettled and grumpy frequently, and we have found it hard to comfort him. But he is beautiful and thriving and when he’s chilled he’s really chilled. I feel so excited to have him as a new member of our family, to see him grow and develop. He is strong, and watches intently, furrows his little brows, makes it plainly clear when he is not having it, and likes to be held and to be close to us.

It is interesting, I don’t clearly remember this time with Elroy, how it felt - the lack of routine, the time it takes to do anything, the length of feeds and frequency of nappy changes, the anxiety and tension that fills you when they are inconsolable. And yet also, I feel much more confident this time, I know it’s just a stage, a point in time, that things will continually shift and change. So I am very much trying to stay calm, go with what comes and enjoy the lovely moments, which are of course there too.

Elroy has been absolutely wonderful with him, despite the fact that he finds the crying upsetting, he is always so positive, tells Rufus he is a good baby, wants to pat him, hold him and help. The change from status as only child has been hard on him too, and I constantly feel guilty that I can’t do everything he asks of me, and that he gets sad and at times acts out. But having Rufus in our family far outweighs all that, we are so very fortunate.

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