Thursday, 15 August 2019

Winter list

I have been wanting to blog for a while now, I think it is because I am not at work writing everyday, and I miss writing. I figured a seasonal list post is a good place to start...

Taking: baby steps with this whole adjustment to two children. Each day as it comes.

Making: some knitted name signs for Elroy and Rufus. I’m pretty sure they are going to look very dodgy but I’ve found the simple knitting rather calming.

Watching: I finally got to watch Mike Mills’ 20th Century Women, which is now on Netflix. I loved his film Beginners, it’s wonderful and incredibly visually appealing. This one is no different, the use of colours, the home, the clothes, the music, and the relationships, I loved it all. I’m definitely going to watch it again. I enjoyed reading this article about objects in the film. Also I loved the part about Talking Heads, I saw David Byrne last year for the second time (the first was with St Vincent) and he is just so incredible....sorry I digress....

I also want to watch the second series of Fleabag, hopefully the ABC will air it soon. Oh, and I still haven’t watched Thom Yorke’s Amina film.

Liking: it when Rufus has one of those dreamy feeds where he sleeps peacefully on me. We took a little bit of time to get feeding right and he can be fussy at times, we are currently thinking he might have reflux and he has been miserable, so I don’t take it for granted.

Thinking: about cubby houses. Elroy has been requesting one for years (ever since we stayed at this air bnb), and I think it’s time we finally start working on it. It will be a fun project to work on with him from design to building. That’s the plan anyway.

Doing: nothing more than the core daily chores and allowing myself to rest and relax when I can. Getting out to see friends and family a few times a week but trying not to over do it. I’d also forgotten how many appointments there are with a new baby, not to mention all the daycare pick up and drop offs for Elroy.

Cooking: not much....yet! But I want to, after serious food aversions and sickness the whole way through pregnancy I am still a bit shy of branching out, but it’s coming back to me. We recently cooked a few recipes from ABC life and they were great. I also need to do some healthy snack baking, I forgot how hungry breastfeeding makes you.

Drinking: tea and so much water. I still haven’t really been game enough to try coffee again yet. It made me so sick while pregnant, and now I don’t want it to interfere with Rufus’ sleep. I’m also still hanging out for that first glass of sparking wine, just waiting for the right occasion.

Enjoying: getting out and walking with Rufus and Jerry when the weather is decent enough. Being outside exercising feels so good at the moment.

Missing: my spare/quiet time.

Wanting: to do something creative again, but I’m not sure what. I’m so indecisive right now.

Hearing: I have a few things on rotation at the moment: the new Vampire Weekend, Amina by Thom Yorke, Unknown Mortal Orchestra,

Reading: I really need a new book, any suggestions? The last books I read were the two Sally Rooney’s (really liked both) and Dolly Alderton’s Everything I Know about Love - which made me feel kinda old

Loving: that Rufus is slowly starting to get his smile going, and his little sqwarky ‘talking’ and the way Elroy loves him so much already.

Feeling: all the emotions. This winter feels like such a big one, personally and within our family. It’s challenging being home and inside so much with a very active 4 year old, a dog who just wants a walk.

Monday, 22 July 2019


Baby Rufus joined our family nearly five weeks ago! We have very much been in the baby bubble since then, the one where you feel completely overwhelmed with love and joy and exhaustion. He arrived a little before his due date because I was induced, and in the end it was rather quick and sudden for both of us.  Perhaps because of this he can be loud, unsettled and grumpy frequently, and we have found it hard to comfort him. But he is beautiful and thriving and when he’s chilled he’s really chilled. I feel so excited to have him as a new member of our family, to see him grow and develop. He is strong, and watches intently, furrows his little brows, makes it plainly clear when he is not having it, and likes to be held and to be close to us.

It is interesting, I don’t clearly remember this time with Elroy, how it felt - the lack of routine, the time it takes to do anything, the length of feeds and frequency of nappy changes, the anxiety and tension that fills you when they are inconsolable. And yet also, I feel much more confident this time, I know it’s just a stage, a point in time, that things will continually shift and change. So I am very much trying to stay calm, go with what comes and enjoy the lovely moments, which are of course there too.

Elroy has been absolutely wonderful with him, despite the fact that he finds the crying upsetting, he is always so positive, tells Rufus he is a good baby, wants to pat him, hold him and help. The change from status as only child has been hard on him too, and I constantly feel guilty that I can’t do everything he asks of me, and that he gets sad and at times acts out. But having Rufus in our family far outweighs all that, we are so very fortunate.

Thursday, 13 June 2019

waiting for baby

I’m down to my last week or thereabouts of this pregnancy. It’s felt like forever. It’s been nothing like my first. The nausea which has lasted pretty much the whole way through, and exhaustion have been really hard, and I’ve felt much more emotional and so so incredibly introverted. Work was very busy, I went through the very stressful process of applying/interviewing for permanency in a job I’ve been acting in for a few years now (fortunately it all worked out), and parenting a very busy, chatty four year old at the same time. I’ve really appreciated, and needed, my days on my own while Elroy is at care since my maternity leave started. I’m also sad that my one on one days with Elroy are limited, it feels like we are in for such a big change. I can’t even anticipate what it is going to be like.

So now all the jobs on my list are done, the baby cane come anytime....well perhaps if it could wait until after tomorrow night because I have a ticket to see Jonsi and Alex perform Riceboy Sleeps and I really don’t want to miss it. Years ago, when I lived on my own, if I’d had a rubbish day I would come home, lay down and play that album. It is beautiful, and would take me somewhere else completely.

Wednesday, 3 April 2019


This boy turned four a few weekends ago. That time went amazingly fast!! He seems so grown up now. He’s chatty and curious, loving, kind, crazy and full of energy, sweet and brave, but also incredibly sensitive, demanding and independent all at once.

Friday, 29 March 2019

seven things for the baby's room

I’m pretty sure that whole pregnancy nesting thing hasn’t kicked in with me yet, I’m still in the plenty of time zone...but really I should be starting to get it together. We have all the big items from last time around, but need things like a new mattress for the bassinet and our baby monitor randomly stopped working (and we really liked having that), so mostly it is just about updating our spare room from the cluttered storage room that it is into an actual bedroom.

Since we won’t know if the baby is a boy or girl until it is born, I’m sticking with some pretty neutral pieces I think can end up being worked either way. The room is currently very plain and will need something to give it life (I'm thinking some wallpaper on one of the walls?), but that can wait until a bit later down the track. I can think about it in the middle of the night when I’m up feeding!!

A few things on my list: 1. Heico rabbit lamp 2. Raduga Grez wooden arch waterfall 3. Garbo and Friends fauna change mat cover  4. Ikea Lixhault in grey  5. Mado four feelings poster 6. pineapple cushion by ferm living kids 7. Camomile London embroidered quilt

Friday, 22 March 2019

baby no 2

Our second baby is due in June, that feels quite soon now! I haven’t felt very well the whole time, and while it has been a little bit more manageable lately, it hasn’t gone away completely. I’m also just exhausted, there have been nights when I’ve gone to sleep at 7:30, which is unheard of for me. I didn’t think this pregnancy would be so different to the first, so it has taken me by surprise.

Part of me feels really ready, and I know Elroy will love having a sibling, he is going to be a wonderful big brother. I have, however, completely forgotten about what it’s like to have a baby in the house! So that is a little bit daunting (in a very good way).

Monday, 11 February 2019

long weekend

I gave Matt a waffle iron for chirstmas this year. It may have been a present in disguise for myself, but he's taken it on very well, has found a great recipe and has the timings down pat. He even makes the batter the night before. So we had waffles and home made strawberry compote, and fancy maple syrup to start the long weekend. I love all the long weekends at this time of year. We haven't been away for any of them and I'm ok with that. It's nice to be home.

I got my camera out a few times over the weekend, took some shots of Jerry and the dinosaur hand puppet (me makes the best noises when that thing comes out), the pretty dahlias I found at the shop and Elroy zooming around on his bike. I'm pretty sure he will be a mountain biker just like Matt. We also visited the wooden boat festival and went on board the Endeavour and had dinner with family, so it's been a nice mix of doing things and down time.