2022

Happy 2022…..I’m not sure that I’ve ever started a year feeling so flat about what is ahead, and I’m not generally one to embrace a new year with gusto. Anyway, it is now 2022, and I’m here writing a blog post. I missed all of last year. I did not have the head space for it. Plus blogging is dead right. But I had a conversation with the most wonderful supportive friend and it made me think about returning for my own personal and creative benefit and I liked that. I need that.

Last year I was in a massive funk, riddled with anxiety and stress, unsatisfied by what I was doing, or not doing, and I pretty much gave up. That’s not good at all, and I don’t want to continue like that (although managing anxiety is challenging). So perhaps by blogging it will encourage me to pick up my camera and do ‘stuff’, the ‘stuff’ that makes me happy.

So here’s to 2022! Whatever it may be.

christmas and new year 2020

It’s officially no longer 2020. Here’s hoping that is a very good thing for this world of ours. I feel like Tasmania was a little bubble last year, one I was happy to live in, but still felt overwhelmed by anxiety and reading the news. Personally, it was a mix of bloody hard (no sleep, no personal time out, absolutely crappy sinusitis, work stress) but on the other hand, there were my beautiful boys and seeing them grow and learn, play together, and time with Matt who always makes me laugh. 

We had a busy Christmas and new year break, I think we had six days of lunches in a row, three of them at our house! But it was lovely. Our Christmas day didn’t start too early (yay!), and we didn’t have to do too much cooking, but we had such a good lunch with grandparents (pretty sure we now have the menu down pat!) which lasted for most of the afternoon. It was so nice not to have to go anywhere. 

The last four days of the break we had to ourselves, on New Year’s Eve we made crayfish rolls (based on the supernormal lobster rolls), drank sparkling and had pavlova with berries. Elroy stayed up for the 9:30 fire works, danced to Ben Lee singing ‘we’re all in this together’ and then we all went to bed. A very fitting end to the year. We went to one of our favourite beaches the next day, I think it has become an unofficial tradition to go to the beach on new year’s day. Rufus is mad keen on the water and was soaked in no time, and Elroy followed the crabs and dug holes. It made me very happy.

seven things for my boys

It is increasing hard to pick things for my boys, mostly because I feel they just have enough. So I have stuck to the read, need, wear, want theme, with a few extra stocking stuffers so to speak (which is where some of the above fit in). 

Elroy loves his Areawear cubebots (I highly recommend them) and I think the snake puzzle will be equally loved, pullback cars are always fun and I have randomly started a theme of getting Rufus yellow ones. I always find it hard to choose just a few books (they are my weakness) but Lenny the Lobster looks great, and I’ve also chosen Ellie’s Dragon by Bob Graham, Hello Friend by Rebecca Cobb and The Twits for Elroy. It’s going to be fun this year with both of them being that little bit older, our big gift to them is a trampoline and I think they will love it!! I am excited.

1. kappa planks 2. Lenny the Lobster Can't Stay for Dinner 3. Maileg panda 4. taxi friction car 5. crayons 6. honeybee 7. wooden snake puzzle

seven things for christmas - for home

It's december! I love this time of year, I'm glad its finally here. I've been very organised so far, done so much of my shopping and planning, now it's the fun time for crafting, cooking and gift wrapping. I haven't had the energy for blogging lately, but I really wanted to pull together some seven things posts, so I've got three. The first is seven things for home. 

Honestly, all I wanted for christmas was this HK living cupboard, and after some rather consistent hinting Matt said to just order it. So I did. I'm really happy because now it will give me a new place to put nice bits and pieces on away from tiny hands. And of course it is calling out for a lamp, but what colour and what style? Also, I can hide all my boys messy craft things in this cupboard and put nice things in my other glass doored cupboard. Win win. 

1. HK Living storage cupboard 2. Maison Balzac volute candles 3. Ferm Living paper storage boxes    4. &Tradition Flowerpot lamp 5. Rose St Supply banner 6.  Mud sugar bowl 7. Pan Afterx Alice Oehr paper bowl

the first weekend of spring

Finally a weekend without rain or grey skies. We’ve been busy, it feels like we are always busy. But today for Father’s Day we took it slowly, well, as slow as you can when a certain small person thinks 6:15am is a good wake up time (and after waking multiple times in the night - ugh). We gave Matt some gifts including a little handmade one Elroy made at school, had our favourite bake at home croissants from Pigeon Whole bakers. Rufus had a sleep, Matt had a bike ride, Elroy played with the lego and I read the latest editions of my favourite magazines. Then we went to the beach for a picnic. I really love days like this, both boys love being outside (I feel like there hasn’t been enough of that lately). It’s a bit wild at times, neither listen, Rufus was saturated and needs to be a little more wary of the water, but they are playing pretty well together and everyone is happy. 

east coast

This year. Yeah. It’s no one’s friend really. I went back to work in June, and between that, looking after children and some really crappy sinus issues there hasn’t been much left in my tank. Oh and winter. I don’t love winter.

I’m slowly getting my sinus in a better place, settling in to work and figuring out the new routines. It helped that we took a little break to the East coast for three nights, a change of scenery was much needed. It was our first time away since December, I can’t quite believe that. Unfortunately we didn’t get the greatest weather, but we did some exploring. Elroy loved the sand dunes near St Helens, jumping out of them like in one of his favourite books (Greetings from Sandy Beach by Bob Graham). Rufus loved just hanging out on the beach, and climbing everything (oh and switching on every appliance at the air bnb). We visited Freycinet and did a few short walks, we would have done more but the rain made it tricky. We had some great fish and chips from the gulch, and I wanted to try the patisserie in Bicheno but unfortunately didn’t check the opening hours properly and we missed out, so we will have to save that for another time.

One of the things I enjoyed was taking photos again, hence there are a lot here, it reminded me that I should be doing a lot more of that, and all the other things that make me feel more satisfied creatively. Holidays are good for perspective.

one

My baby is one. How did that happen! From the moment he was born I have felt completely besotted. He’s a sweet boy, and even though there have been so so many challenging moments due to reflux/colic and him feeling generally uncomfortable in himself, at some point a few months ago we turned a corner and he is delightful. He makes me happy and I can’t imagine our family without him. He started walking properly a few weeks ago, and now he is most confident and swift on his feet. He loves cuddles and gives kisses, playing with Elroy and climbing over him, rolling around in his blanket, Jerry, music - he’s a great dancer, eating/putting everything he shouldn’t in his mouth, plays beautifully on his own, chats, says mama dada, bubba, and some times ta. Makes elephant noises. Has started to wave, does the open and shut hand movements when we sing that song. Rufus is the messiest eater, still prefers purées, loves his milk, has particular books he likes, enjoys day care, makes it incredibly clear when he wants something and makes a loud fuss when he doesn’t get it. Loves it when people visit. He had the best time at his little birthday party. Oh and importantly for me, just had his first sleep through the night, well 7ish to 4am ish, then back to sleep after a feed. This is huge, not that long ago I was still feeding him up to 4 times a night. He has the sweetest little curls at the back of his head, his quaff-y bit is so long it’s almost a combover, he’s a dumpling and our bubba/honey boy.

eleven months

Eleven months already! That first birthday is coming faster than I think I’m ready for. Rufus has come along so well in the last few months. He’s starting to show us more of his rather strong personality and quirks. He is very sure about what he wants and doesn’t want, and is loud about it too. He talks a lot, says Mammmmmma a lot. He is still quite dependent on me, but when settled is so good with occupying himself. He loves playing the keyboard we have and dancing (bobbing up and down) to music, there are certain songs I can play to calm him when he is upset. He plays more with Elroy now, loves rolling around on the blanket from the sofa, can stand very firmly on his feet and would be able to walk with no problem, but he is cautious and wants to hold on to something. He’s getting better with food, but still wakes for milk three times a night (too much for me - but we have been slow with the sleep training and he is loudly resistant).

Last week Rufus started daycare, he had two nearly full days and I think he will like it once he gets used to it. It’s so hard for me to let go, especially with the world the way it is now, and he’s my baby. But he needs to be able to spend time with other children, and I think it will be good for him to have some independence from me. It’s bittersweet, I can see the shift in him from baby to toddler.

stuff

Isolation pretty much looks like this (oh and a whole lot of mess). Sometimes it does feel pretty much like groundhog day. It’s difficult not to be, but then it is also nice to be together. It definitely is easier on the days when the sun shines and we can get outside a bit. It’s going to be interesting this weekend with the weather turning.

I have all these ideas in my head of (mostly crafty) things I want to do. So far I haven’t been so good at making them happen, but I’m going to try to get it together. I’m down to a month left of maternity leave, which mean things will change a bit. For at least two days a week anyway.

Things we’ve been doing with Elroy:

Lots of Oliver Jeffers activities- watching him read his stories, following as he draws, playing go fish (these cards are so gorgeous- also it’s cute to say ‘have you got the house across the street?’ or ‘have you got the curious whale?’), and watching Here We Are on Apple TV.

We started a stay at home journal where we past some of our activities and write about what we’ve been doing. I think this will be a nice reminder of this time.

Homeschool work - this has been good for additional activities, fortunately Elroy is only kinder so it’s not too full on, also the school has a very realistic approach. He’s also been FaceTiming one of his friends and that has been really great.

A bike ride/walk every day. I think we are so incredibly lucky to live where we do. Even though we are pretty much inner city we have a few great walking spots close to home and we are making the most of them.

Things for us:

The timing was impeccable, my mum got an Apple TV for my grandmother because they thought hers was no longer working, turns out it was fine so she gave it to us. It has made watching things so much easier. Despite being in a bit of a Friends/Seinfeld rut, we really enjoyed Motherland, watched the new Beastie Boys doco, have started Normal People (I sped through both Sally Rooney books ages ago now), we might even watch a few movies we didn’t get to catch at the cinema over the last year!

Lots of cooking. Buying food has been a big shift for us. Normally I’d go to the shop every few days and I was never organised with meal planning. But now we are ordering a weeks worth and I have to think about it. So every Sunday we’ve been making Alison Roman’s slow roast chicken (so so good and easy) and have been making a cake (generally chocolate- this one is good as a cake, I just pour the batter into two sponge tins) once a week, I’ve pickled cucumbers, made spinach and cheese scrolls and the boys made me a lovely birthday cake this week.

Occasionally listening to music that isn’t for children, enjoying the new Strokes album and Ed O’Briens album, a bit of Paul Simon throwbacks- mostly You Can Call Me Al, Tame Impala, the new Avalanches tracks, and countless random Spotify playlists.

Um not much else, there isn’t a whole lot of spare time with two young children!

42 and 43

42
Bit of a serious look here. He can be serious, but I think that is his observing face. You know sometimes you have a sweet spot with babies, things get a bit easier, they sleep better, can occupy themselves a bit. Generally life with them just feels a little bit less full on. You might not notice the sweet spot until you’ve move into a few fussy days. Anyway we had that sweet spot with Rufus over Easter and it was lovely. After such a challenging start and following months, it is nice to know that he’s a happy boy.

43
This photograph is a pretty good summary of Rufus at the moment. Always, always, with something in his mouth. Most always something it shouldn’t be. He loves the little rocks in the garden, the dirt from the fiddle leaf fig pot, the smallest bits of duplo he can find, random fluff on the floor - you name it he will find it and in it goes. I think he would have liked a dummy, except I did try that when he was a tiny screaming ball of fury and he wasn’t interested then. So instead he crawls around the room with random toys in his mouth. He is impossible when it comes to changing nappies or getting dressed. He will roll away immediately and protest very loudly if you try to get him to lie still.

easter

I’m so behind with things. How it is that I’m home constantly and not getting time to do things? Oh yeah, two kids!! Also since Matt’s working from home my computer has been abandoned in a corner on the floor.... but today I got it together and uploaded my recent photographs and edited them. Easter was actually a really lovely long weekend, I think the trick to being home is having holidays, so you can switch in and out a bit as parents. During the week it’s me and the boys (with Matt working in the bedroom), and it can get pretty monotonous, even with a good big walk/bike ride in the middle of the day. But Easter was good, especially having the joy of the Easter bunny delivering a few gifts and leaving the eggs in the garden, it did feel like a special day and we had a lovely breakfast too.

Sometimes I know I am far too organized, but it worked in my favour this year. I’d ordered the most lovely personalised name baskets from Pretty Snippets (the boys got the wire names for Christmas and they are lovely too), a little Astrid the astronaut for each, a Maileg bunny and bowl for Rufus, Oliver Jeffers go fish cards and a puzzle for Elroy, as well as the traditional Humpty Dumpty egg. It was maybe a little bit much, but gosh I think we all need a little treat at the moment if we can.

.

I don’t really know what to write. But I want to write. The world is not as we know it and it’s incredibly scary. I flip constantly between being outright blind panic freaked out, to just feeling hopeful that if we do the right thing then we will all be ok. We are staying home of course complying with the rules, with sparing trips out for exercise and fresh air and for our essentials. How lucky we are to have a safe, comfortable home to be in. Matt can work from home easily enough, and I am still on maternity leave so can be with the boys. Poor Elroy, it is the hardest for him, he’s just turned five (and we just squeezed his party in), made some new kinder friends and was getting used to that routine and now is home for the foreseeable future. He’s a sociable boy and I know it’s going to be hard, it already is hard. He asks me constantly to play with him, and I try my best but it can be challenging with Rufus around too. So I’m exhausted, full of anxiety and feeling like I need to learn how to be a kinder teacher, but also it’s nice to all be together, and we naturally spend lots of time as a family unit. I’m missing my family, buying a coffee and being out and about, fresh flowers, and just the little day to day interactions with other people.

I’m sure like everyone else we plan to tackle some jobs around the house this Easter, we’ve got plenty of work to do in our garden, we’ll do some cooking, have some slower mornings, go for walks. I have a lot of Rufus weekly posts to catch up on, so I’ll post those. I don’t want to forget this time with him. I don’t know as I say I want to write, so I’ll give it a go.

33 and 34

I’m a bit slow with this, but I have been taking notes and jotting things down.

33
Rufus has discovered how to pull himself up on things and loves to stand and pull out things (like all the things on the bottom shelf of the change table), like all babies he always crawls directly to the things he shouldn’t - lamp cords, small toys, over the top of Jerry.

I am pretty certain he also said Mama one night when I fed him. It was the only thing he said (he can be a noisy chatterbox) and so it was fairly clear. Definitely melted my heart.

His teeth are still pushing through and he is still a bit up and down .

34
Rufus has definitely been saying mum mum mmma, and for occasionally dada, but mostly at night when he wakes for a feed, or if he’s a bit grizzly. He had been quite settled, but right on cue the next leap hit and everything went out the window again. He’s so sensitive this boy, but once again music helps and seems to calm him. Rufus is also standing now, but hasn’t quite worked out the whole sitting down thing, so will grizzle after a while because he is stuck standing.

new routines and the summer blues

Summer seems to have vanished lately, it’s been grey grey for over a week and I feel like my mood has shifted that way too. I need some sunshine, I’m fighting a lurgy and the lack of decent sleep over the last (nearly) eight months is definitely catching up with me. I’m adjusting to our new routine and haven’t got it down pat yet, I miss the old one, chatting to the people at daycare, somehow it felt more structured. School starts so late and finishes so early, we are barely getting a second sleep in for Rufus and then what to do after school? I’m sure we will work it out in time. 

I confess to beat the summer blues I’ve been doing a little bit of shopping (mostly clothes for the boys and presents for Elroy’s birthday), but I caved and got the Hay ete bed cover in yellow and I love it so much, yellow really is a happy colour. And I got the little Italian splatter wear pinch pot from Dos Ombré in the photograph above, it came beautifully packaged and presented. Little things to help pick up my mood.

31 and 32

Week 31
Lots of getting around, getting into things and determination, along with a side of clinginess.
He’s so strong too. He is super into the fresh apricots and they get smushed and devoured. He’s not super keen on lots of food, but loves his water bottle. It’s actually fairly gross, he loves to sip from the straw and then spit it right back out. Dinner time is a very wet and messy process.

Week 32
Teeth , climbing and thinking he can stand on his own. Rufus has two more teeth coming through (either side of the front top two), like his top teeth, they are big and are taking a bit to come. I’m pretty sure you can see more down the bottom too. He’s also discovered climbing, he’s always trying to get into his rocker chair like in the photograph, and he’s also trying to climb the stairs and stand up against things. It feels like all this is happening so quickly.

january

January flew by!! It was a month where our regular routines where out a bit, we had lots of day trips, beach visits, Matt was home lots (love the public holidays), Elroy finished up at daycare and had a few days at vacation care doing all sorts of wonderful things, and Rufus and I went with the flow. It was a good month and I’m sad that it’s over. Although I’m hoping we still have some beautiful warm days for the beach and to explore.

Now we adjust to the new kindergarten routine. I think that’s going to take a little while, shorter days, squeezing naps in (and less time for me to do not much). Elroy started school today, I was so very proud of him. He was excited and happy and comfortable in the classroom, and happy to be left giving me a confident ‘bye Mum’. I managed not to cry, but it was emotionally intense, mostly I just felt proud of him. He’s more than ready for it and I know he’s going to love learning and the new friends he will make.

29 and 30

29 weeks
More teeth for Rufus, those top front teeth pushing their way through, but still seems to be a fairly happy boy. He loves interacting with all of us, laughs and smiles when you blow a raspberry on his cheeks or the back of his neck.


30 weeks
Seven months with Rufus!! The growth and change is rapid at the moment, even since Christmas, it’s amazing. Oh and he’s crawling now! It was just a bit of wriggling across the mat to start with, but now he can make his way across our large living space. He’s not quick yet - fortunately. I’m not quite ready for it. Not ready to put up baby gates and I have no idea how we are going to manage Elroy’s Lego and playmobile. But Rufus is loving it, and seems happier, and maybe sleeping ever so slightly better at night.

christmas/new years break

It’s been a strange start to the year. So much devastation and sadness, especially following on from last summer with the fires we experienced in Tasmania. Summer,  it seems is always going to be a time of mixed emotions. We’ve donated where we can and talked about what we can do to make some changes to the way we live. It’s still scary in the long run.

We have had a pretty quiet break, Matt went back to work today and it feels like we are back to real life.  Although it’s going to kick up a notch next month when Elroy starts kinder (still not coping with that fact). We celebrated the new year at a friends house with children running around having the best time, then we came home, got Rufus to bed and let Elroy watch the children’s fireworks (we are lucky we can see them from home) he wasn’t that interested and went to bed. Matt and I weren’t far behind him.

We’ve had a few nice lunches out (the Port Cygnet Cannery and Agrarian Kitchen Eatery), visited Hastings Caves and swam in the thermal pool, been to our favorite beach several times, Elroy has had lots of play dates and done a few odd jobs at home. Poor Matt, I decided it was time for a change with the picture wall behind our dining table because there were a few new pieces gifted for Christmas, so he spent his last day measuring and hanging. I’m quite happy with the results, it’s nice to have a change.

27 and 28

27 weeks
Rufus’ first Christmas! Poor bubba was a bit unsettled on the day, wanting to be held and close to a parent the whole time, and not keen on sleep either. But he did seem to really love some of his gifts, his wooden London bus, Lucky Boy Sunday doll and a spinning top from my mum. He focuses quite well on things and will spend time working them out (that and putting them in his mouth as all babies do).

28 weeks
Summer holidays for us, and Rufus has been quite adaptable. Going along with us to do various outings. He’s suddenly looking older again in the face and longer in the body. He usually looks serious but if you smile at him, he lights up and smiles back. He likes to hold on, like he is in the photo above with Matt. A little hand placed on you, just for comfort.

farewell 2019

2018 was a hard year, we were both stressed with work, then I was pregnant and sick. I then spent the first six months (nearly) of 2019 feeling sick and pregnant. Then we had Rufus and that was a whole new challenge working our way through silent acid reflux and colic (although a very sweet and much loved challenge). I don’t feel like I accomplished much, I didn’t read a lot, or go to many concerts, take many trips or even go out for dinner much. My interest in cooking and food was diminished by my being so sick. I had to go through a full stressful application process for a job I’d been in for several years - while seven months pregnant. Rufus’ birth left me feeling somehow robbed and slightly traumatised. Matt has equally had challenges with work and I feel like I have not been able to support him as I would’ve liked.

But there were highlights - the main being the arrival of my beautiful baby boy. Seeing and experiencing Elroy grow and learn, have the most incredible imagination, and be so full of love and innocence. Going to Mofo with Matt in January for a night all on our own and singing along to Courtney Barnett and dancing to Pnau. Seeing Jonsi and Alex perform in Hobart and Nick Cave and Warren Ellis at the Sydney Opera House. Mostly just the days where we do something together as a family make me the happiest.

I am ready for 2020. I am ready to move into a new phase, plan some things and hopefully make them happen. It’s also the last full year of my 30’s and I feel very aware of this, so hopefully it will give me the motivation I think I need.

The only thing I’m not ready for next year is Elroy starting kinder...it feels somewhat bittersweet and I feel completely underprepared for him to make that transition. But I know him, he will take it in his stride and do so well.